Betelgeusean n. 1

We see by the papers that Betelgeuse [...] is 27,000,000 times larger than the sun, and it would take trillions of our earth to equal it. And yet, so great is our faith in the fundamental sameness of universal nature, we’ll wager that when one Betelgeusian meets an old friend unexpectedly he remarks, ‘Well, well, it’s a small world, after all.’

As he swelters lying on the burning sands of some popular Betelgeuse beach resort, we expect him to remark to some Betelgeusean: ‘I'll bet it’s hot down there on the earth today.’

Silent we stood again, at that, and then Gor Han and Jurt Tul reached forth, Betelgeusan [sic] and Aldebaranian and earth-man clasping hands in a moment’s grip.

Marines swarmed through the streets in the traditional manner of rightist revolutionaries. Should a face appear that hinted of Rigelian blood, or should a half-breed with the abnormally long hands and black teeth of a Betelgeusian pass the marines, there would be bloodshed and no questions asked. After a few hours of the reign of terror, the extraterrestrials crept into cellars and stayed there for the duration.

It’s free country, Bobby, old Betelgeusean.

‘Thuban, Thuban, I’ve been thinking,’ sang a buxom Betelgeusian, ‘what a Cosmos this could be, if land masses were transported to replace the wasteful sea.’

Can you not, for instance, smuggle a letter out through some Betelgeusean?

Not that the Betelgeusean was unprepossessing.

I order another double, wishing to hell I’d gotten a good look at that gizmo. Did it have a label, Made by Betelgeusians? No matter how weird it was, how could a person be crazy enough to imagine—?

If the world was going to end in 12 minutes, would you follow a Betelgeusean to safety?

There are four more Betelgeuseans than Antareans traveling in a space ship. If there are 30 creatures in the ship, how many are Betelgeuseans?

Betelgeuseans dislike change, and look to the past for answers to life’s conundrums.